From 9 to 5 to, Literally All the Time!

I know this momma has been on a break from the blogging for a bit but “mommin’ ain’t easy!” Lol. I thought that as my son got older, it would get a bit easier but that’s totally not the case. Call me crazy but I seriously felt like I had more energy to clean the house, do the laundry, get a workout in and still have dinner on the table when he was a newborn, even with the sleep deprivation! Could be that he was less active, easily entertained and naps lasted longer than 20 minutes. I’m not complaining though, I love being home with my little guy. It’s been an adjustment to say the least! I went from being a working momma who did 40 hour weeks with a 5 year old to now being home and working around the clock with two kiddos. The difference is so crazy. I used to have this glamorized notion of what a stay at home mom was. If I’m being honest here, stay at home moms to me were like these mythical creatures I totally wanted to be! The women who somehow were up at the crack of dawn, making breakfast, packing lunches, with an immaculate house and still found the time for lunch dates, play dates, shopping, all while looking fabulous (or at least that’s how it seems in the movies). BOY WAS I WRONG! What a reality check this experience has been lol.

Seriously, my hair lives in a nest, I’m in my pj’s till about 1 pm, running around the house trying to do a million things, most times with 6 1/2 month chunker attached to my hip, all before I have to pick my daughter up from school, then come back and have dinner ready before my fiancé gets home. I thought I had it down in the beginning and I even started working out but the sleep deprivation totally caught up. I think the hardest part for me is not feeling productive enough. I beat myself up on the days when I just want to lay on the couch because I need a break. I beat myself up on the days where the laundry’s clean but still sitting in the hamper because I have a baby attached to my boob and he refuses to nap. I beat myself up on the days when my fiancé comes home and buys dinner because I just really couldn’t adult that day. This mom business is tough!(BUT totally worth it). This transition from working mom to stay at home has been a roller coaster of emotions.

On one hand, I feel so blessed to be able to stay home with my little guy and that I am able to pick my daughter up from school right at dismissal when before, I’d work till 5 and she was in aftercare until about 5:30 and she’d always plead with me to pick her up early. But then there are days when I miss working and having social interaction with other adults and just being out of the house. I’m so used to being independent and some days I get overwhelmed with guilt. I feel guilty for not contributing monetarily (even though my fiancé says I am because raising our kids is a full time job in itself), I feel guilty on the days where I stayed in bed a little longer than I would’ve liked to. It’s something I struggle with internally. My fiancé is absolutely amazing and I’m extremely grateful to have his support, he never makes me feel bad but I just create this guilt and anxiety within myself. Thank God he deals with my crazy lol.

Being a stay at home mom (for me at least) is having to eat your breakfast in the afternoon sometimes, it’s showering with the light off because the bathroom fan is so loud and you need to hear if the baby is crying or not, it’s using the bathroom with your kid on your lap, it’s doing laundry and folding it a week later (not always lol), it’s cleaning the house with your 20lb baby strapped to you, it’s falling asleep while playing with your daughter, it’s so many things but the most important is that it’s worth it. These moments are temporary and the kiddos won’t be this small forever. So I’m going to cherish these crazy days, even when they are long and momma needs an extra large mojito! 🍹

Xoxo – Babymommablogga out! ✌🏼

Liquid Gold and the Process that Unfolds

When I had my daughter, I had planned on breastfeeding her but I got an infection a few days after having her and I was told I couldn’t breastfeed for at least 10 days or until I was done with the antibiotics . By that time, she had quickly adapted to being bottle-fed formula and no longer wanted to latch on. I was young and didn’t pump so I truly missed out on that whole experience with her. When I got pregnant with my son, I knew I wanted to try my best to exclusively breastfeed. I read so many articles on how to successfully breastfeed and I felt confident it would be different this time. When my son was born, I couldn’t wait to feed him! I remember the way felt the first time I fed my daughter a few hours after she was born. How she looked into my eyes while she was latched onto me. It was amazing. There aren’t enough words to describe the bond that’s created when you breastfeed your baby. I felt the same exact way with my son and I couldn’t be happier.

The hospital where he was delivered is very big on breastfeeding. The baby is left with you at all times and isn’t sent to the nursery unless requested by you. That first night was a breeze and I felt so accomplished being able to feed him with no problems. The second night, wasn’t as easy. That’s when the cluster feeding kicked in and so did the soreness! By morning, I had called for a lactation consultant. The baby had fed every 20-30 minutes that night and I was exhausted. When the consultant came to my room, she asked me to show her how I put the baby on my breast, so I did. She was surprised at how well he latched on and told me that the soreness was normal and would pass but that I shouldn’t feel any real pain. The following day, we were discharged and sent home. I was happy to be going home.

Fast forward to the first two weeks at home…they were BRUTAL! What I thought was going to be a smooth transition, was the start of my postpartum. I know postpartum is something that most moms experience in one way or another but breastfeeding was the trigger for me. The first thing I experienced were these excruciating headaches, due to lack of sleep and not eating. I had no idea that when you breastfeed, you have to eat like a grown man! lol. You have to eat at least 500 extra calories daily. No one tells you these things! Besides eating like a baby whale, my milk supply hadn’t come in yet so I read every blog, article, book, anything you could think of on ways to increase my milk supply. I tried the “Mother’s Milk herbal tea” and let’s just say it didn’t settle very well with my stomach. I also read that Gatorade and Malta help increase your supply so I added them to my diet as well. I ate boat loads of oatmeal and tried to drink as much water as possible.

The worst part of it for me was the pain. What started out as soreness turned into full-fledged angry “Nickels” (my daughter has always called nipples nickels and I think it’s the cutest thing so I will not correct her lol). People say it’s not supposed to hurt and if it does you’re doing something wrong. That is completely untrue! You go from not having anything latched onto your boob, to all of a sudden having this little person who depends on you solely for its nutrition, living on it day and night!

By day 5, I was a mess. Hysteria was the only emotion I could express. By this point, my nickels were cracked and bleeding and I was no longer a rational human being. Every time I had to put the baby on my breast, I’d cry and yell and curse. It got to the point where I started to feel a bit angry when feeding time came around which in turn made me feel guilty. This precious little guy needed me and I wanted to breastfeed so bad but how could I continue? It was torture! Coconut oil, Lanolin cream, and the silicon pads (that feel amazing after they’ve been in the freezer) the hospital gave me quickly became my best friends. Despite the countless shirts they ruined, I didn’t care. I needed to heal these bad boys if I was going to continue to exclusively breastfeed but unfortunately, the ointments weren’t enough. I’d cake the stuff on but by the time they started to feel somewhat better, feeding time rolled around again.

I tried a nipple shield but couldn’t get the hang of it. My last resort was to supplement with formula and it broke my heart. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with formula feeding your baby! I did it with my first child and she’s a happy and healthy 6 year old. With all the left over hormones surging through my body, the mommy guilt was taking over full force. I felt like a failure because I couldn’t exclusively breastfeed my son. All the cold pads and creams I had applied weren’t cutting it. So I made a new goal; heal my nickels now, so I could breastfeed long-term later. I cried every time I had to give him a bottle of formula and sometimes I even bit the bullet and suffered through the pain and put him on my breast. My boyfriend had found a formula called “ Similac for supplementation” for breastfeeding moms who wanted or needed to introduce formula and that made me feel better.

I supplemented for about a week and a half and then I was ready to get back to the original plan. It hasn’t been easy but it has totally been worth it! Aside from the convenience of not having to lug bottles around or wash them for that matter, it’s truly created a beautiful bond between my son and I. I will say, if you’re a mom who truly wants to breastfeed, the number one thing you need is SUPPORT. Whether it be from family, friends or even a group. My boyfriend has been the epitome of support. Even when I said I couldn’t do it, he was right there telling me I could. When I was wallowing in guilt for needing to supplement, he was there telling me just how amazing a mother I am. My friends and family were also very supportive because they knew just how important it was for me.

Now we are 4 months in and I’m so happy I stuck with it. But mommies just so you know, it doesn’t stay blissful forever lol. My little guy has been showing signs of teething and has now started to bite down on my nickels. Here comes the soreness! Good thing I have a tub of coconut oil and Lanolin on back up!

*This is not a sponsored post, these are just some of the products I used that helped me.